How I’ve Dealt With Grief


Over the course of six months I’ve dealt with a new feeling I’ve never felt before and that’s grief. I haven’t been very open the past six months since losing my brother and while it often hurts me a lot I’ve found comfort in masking my feelings. However, in doing this I’ve built up lots of anger, sadness, and questions. Of course this is no good way to accept death and begin to move past it. To backtrack I’ll share how I found out, whats happened since, and how I’ve been able to overcome this tremendous sadness.

October 26th…

As I look back on this day, never would I have imagined that something so awful would happen to my brother that would end up costing him his life. It was a normal Friday for my family and I, my parents were out of work, I had just gotten home from the gym and my mom asked if I wanted to go shopping with her. I said yes and off we went shopping. While doing this, we split up and I went my way and she went hers. When we met up to leave, my mom showed me a shirt she bought for my brother Jacob for Christmas. Genuinely I was surprised my mom was already thinking about Christmas gifts and especially a gift for Jacob, because every year she would always wait until the last minute and scramble on what gifts to get him. We got home and parted ways to go to sleep.

October 27th…

What started off as a normal morning of letting out our dog Chloe to use the restroom and feeding her turned into a day I don’t ever want to relive. I woke up and began brushing my teeth when I heard someone ring the doorbell at around 8:30 a.m. Immediately our dogs began barking and I heard my mom answer the door. A man asked for the parents of Jacob Rodriguez. My mom rushed to put our dogs away and she went and grabbed my dad to come out to the formal living room to speak with the man. To this day the one thing that I’ll live with forever is hearing the story of what happened to my brother. I was in complete disbelief and I remember my mouth being open because of the state of shock I went into. My parents immediately began to cry so I came into the room and finished talking with the man about what our next steps were. My dad walked away crying uncontrollably. His son, his best friend, his everything died. To this day what makes me most sad is knowing the pain my parents have in their hearts forever from losing their son. When the man left, my mom and I began crying together and we went into their bedroom. We all sat there on the bed crying and holding each other. We made calls and I had to tell my sisters and my other brother. Everyone immediately came over and tears were just being shed uncontrollably. 

As I was still in shock over what happened, I wanted to know what exactly happened to Jacob. The man that delivered the news and basically ruined the rest of our lives as we knew it, told us he had been involved in a car accident which also involved another person which was a female. I called the detectives number and in a horrific shock I found out what exactly happened. My heart immediately fell into my stomach and I felt sick. I won’t exactly share what happened but I’ll leave this here.

In the days after this, I was just numb. I wanted to escape from this hell that had been put upon us. Just when everything in our lives was going amazing, something so devastating happened. I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, but why this? Why did Jacob have to make this awful decision that took his life and an innocent persons life? My brother was the sweetest most caring person. He was funny and got along with everyone. He loved his rescue animals with all of his heart. So why him?

Of course we’ll never know why my brother did what he did and although the pain of not knowing haunts us everyday, it’s best that we don’t know. Having to “move on” has been so difficult. We brought in his animals which consists of two dogs, Teddy and Zuko, and one cat, Kiwi. They have been the biggest blessings out of the whole situation. When I look at them I cry because they’ll never know why Jacob never came back home. 

A few weeks after we laid him to rest I had to work 10-5 at my job all alone. This day we had awful rainy weather so of course it was empty at my work. I was bored from not having any human interaction so I began remembering things from the past. Because of the weather I remembered back to New Years Eve of 2014 when we woke up to Jacob banging on our dads bedroom door saying, “dad it’s snowing outside!” Nicole and I woke up so fast because we were so excited that it was snowing and we didn’t care that it was 3 in the morning. So outside we went as siblings playing in the fresh snow that was falling in Temecula of all places. We used beach boogie boards as sleds and made snow angels on the street. That’s a memory I’ll never forget as it’s one of my favorites. But as I thought back to that moment, I felt so alone and empty when suddenly the song that played at Jacobs funeral in his slideshow began playing on the stores speakers. I instantly started crying and I knew I wasn’t alone.

For two months I cried every day on my drive home because going home didn’t feel like home anymore.

I used to find the formal living room couches to be so comfortable and the best place to relax and take a nap. But now that room feels cold and the couches are hard. I hate that room. That room will always be the room where we found out what happened to Jacob.

Over time we’ve found peace in this situation. The holidays without him were probably the most difficult. We’ve accepted his death and have began to move forward but we still keep his memory alive everyday. We light a candle everyday in his honor that never runs out. 

I miss him so much everyday and I know one day we’ll all be reunited again as a family.

xoxo, Liz


Beach Day


What a fun day I had yesterday 🙂 I’m currently on spring break vacation so of course I had to plan a beach trip. Isaac and I went to Newport and had the most amazing time! We got there and immediately set up our stuff so we could soak up the sun and get in the water. Of course being in the water didn’t last too long because it was freezing lol. We went for a walk to explore and then had a beach picnic and it was so romantic After lunch we did a little shopping then made our way to Newport Pier to rent bikes. We rode for six miles then treated ourselves to some delicious cronuts. We returned the bikes then went to dinner at Woody’s Wharf and had the most amazing food plus got to enjoy some people singing along to karaoke haha. Overall it was a great day and I can’t wait to make more beach memories this spring and summer.

xoxo, Liz

Food and Wine Festival


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Shirt, Bag, Sunglasses, Jacket, Shoes

Yesterday, Isaac and I went to California Adventure to take advantage of the Food & Wine Festival going on. When we went to Disneyland a few weeks ago, we didn’t have time to go to CA so we decided that we’d go there first this time around then do Disneyland at night. It was so much fun seeing all of the booths and participating in events they had going on. We colored and made a chefs hat and ate so much food including the pepperoni pizza egg rolls (featured above) and omg they were so good! Isaac and I both liked them a ton. 

For my outfit I kept the look simple but with a Disney theme which included my favorite little green men ♥ I got this tee shirt for Isaac and I almost a year ago and we loved going to the parks in matching shirts. For only $13 it was such a great buy! 

For the rest of my look, I just wore comfy leggings and shoes for all of the walking we had to do. I wear these shoes every time and I love how light weight they are plus they’re super cute & go with everything. 

For my accessories I used my new heart eye sunglasses that I’m obsessed with! They’re so cute+unique and for under $10 they’re an amazing deal for YSL dupes that are $400.

Today I have so many errands I have to run and things I need to do around the house so I’m in for a busy day. However, I hope you all have a magical filled day 🙂

xoxo, Liz

Disneyland Date Night


Isaac and I’s tradition after Disneyland is grabbing In-N-Out.

Happy Wednesday Loves! Yesterday after our classes, Isaac and I went to Disneyland since we haven’t gone in so long due to me spraining my ankle, my ear infections and just the weather being so bad. But yesterday was a great opportunity to go right before we get a huge storm. But oh man, the storm came and it was crazy! Around midnight we got a loud thunderstorm with so much lightning that was pretty scary. Now it’s just raining a lot unfortunately. 

I kept my outfit simple but kind of cute yesterday since in the daytime it was warm then got cold at night. I wore a thermal shirt with my windbreaker, some jeans, tennis shoes and a cute Disney beanie. 

I hope you all have a fantastic day 🙂

xoxo, Liz

Valentines Date Ideas


With Valentines Day coming up soon, I’m so excited but nervous because I don’t have any plans yet plus I don’t know what to get Isaac this year. Last year was our first Valentines Day together so we both went all out to celebrate the day of love. I had to work all afternoon and night which meant we had to settle for a breakfast date but was still the best. For gifts, we got each other baskets of things we love. Isaac also got me an orchid that’s still blooming almost a year later

For date ideas I was thinking

Drive-In, movie night at home cuddled in bed or go to the movie theater to see The Notebook for just $5 at Harkins Theatres.

Dinner at either a new restaurant or a classic go-to spot you both enjoy.

Make dinner at home that both of you can be involved with; like homemade pizzas!!

Have a picnic in the park while catching the sunset.

Go for a car ride and see somewhere new.

Visit museums or go to an amusement park.

and that’s about all I can think of for date ideas


Whatever you end up doing on Valentines Day is special whether you spend it with someone or alone 🙂 Make it a great day and try making it special for others too. I love to give my coworkers and family members small gifts to make them feel extra special. Either grab festive treats or make them yourself and give them out on the 14th as a sweet surprise.

xoxo, Liz